


Serious Things Are Stupid

by tvparty18



Category: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Benjamin Is Also Kind of Boring, Eventual Smut, F/M, Not Very Joel Friendly, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 03, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvparty18/pseuds/tvparty18
Summary: The only thing Midge needs is a drink... and maybe a place to stay.
Relationships: Lenny Bruce (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)/Miriam "Midge" Maisel
Comments: 24
Kudos: 242





	Serious Things Are Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> I was really excited to post this so there are probably errors. Also, I'm not a smut writer so apologies in advance for that.
> 
> I'm old so I still do this:  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot, that's all mine. Everything else belongs to the Palladinos and Amazon and whoever else. "Serious Things Are Stupid" is a song by Cayetana. This was almost called "Constant Headache" in reference to the Joyce Manor song.

_“I came here alone and I plan to leave that way, but I find comfort in all of the things you say._

_My heart unthawed and my brain unstalled took time to comprehend,_ _‘Oh I made it, I made it, I made it, I made it.’_

_And we're both prone to misery but you still get drunk and wanna hang out with me._

_And I'm at my best when I'm sleeping alone; it's funny how time stops and starts on its own._

_I came here alone and I plan to leave that way, but I still find comfort in all the things you say, w_ _hen you say them wanna hear you say ‘that you came here alone and you won't leave that way,_ _that you came here alone and you wanna change your ways.’_

_You won't change your ways.”_

_-Cayetana_

She, honest to God, doesn't know what to do now. She knows a few things; she knows she’s fucking stupid, a real goddamn fucking salt of the Earth idiot. She knows she’s naive and that she obviously has no fucking control over her brain to mouth filter. She knows she never used to say fuck and now it’s spilling out of her mouth like the tears coming out of her eyes, in waves. She’s not a crier (hasn’t even let herself cry since Joel left) but this, this big fucking fuck up, warrants a cry.

Susie hands her a bandana to wipe her eyes as they watch the plane take off.

“It'll be okay,” she repeats.

Midge shakes her head and sniffles. “No, it won’t.”

“I’ll make it okay. I promise.” Susie runs a hand down Midge’s arm in a rare display of affection. “What’re you going to do with all this crap?” She gestures to the two cabs.

“Right now, I’m going to get a drink and then….I have no fucking clue.” Midge shrugs and wipes her eyes again. “Susie, you have to believe me, I didn’t mean it, not like that.”

“I know, but you gotta know that you can’t play the naive card anymore.” She pats Midge on the arm again.

“I know.” With a final sniffle, she folds up Susie’s bandana and hands it back. “Wanna join me for that drink?”

“Yes, I really do, but I can’t. I’ve got to start taking care of some things. I’ll call you in a day or two.” Susie turns to the cabs, “Can I bum a ride?”

“It’s the least I can do.”

After dropping Susie off, Midge and her fleet head to the Dublin House. It’s a shitty dive but it feels safe and she needs safe right now. 

She’s on her second drink, head laid on her folded arms atop the bar when she feels a presence next to her. “Aren’t you supposed to be crossing a very large pond right now?” 

Midge doesn’t want to look because she swears he must be a mirage. But the voice and the man would be so welcome right now.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a gulf right now?” She turns her head slightly and opens one eye and then another to blink at him. 

“Yes,” Lenny says pulling out the stool next to her, “but I really felt like coming to this horrendous place for a drink.”

Midge lifts her head and makes a lazy attempt at fixing her hair, “Obviously I had similar sentiments. How’d you know I was here? Did Susie call you?”

Lenny gestures to the bartender before turning towards her, “No, she did not. I was walking by and saw the yellow fleet out there filled with hat boxes.”

She lifts her glass and downs it, “dead give away.”

The bartender brings Lenny’s bourbon and another whiskey for Midge, “No martini, no flourish? You wanna talk about it?”

She takes a generous gulp of her drink and turns towards him fully, ignoring how their knees bump and just how comforting and familiar that sensation is. “I fucked up big time.”

“Lucky you, this is my area of expertise.” He gives her a sympathetic smile as he takes a drink.

She smiles a little at that then proceeds to tell Lenny the entire story. It’s a struggle not to cry and she breaks a little at the end but she makes it through. She doesn’t know what reaction she expects but patting her hand and his sincere “it’ll be okay” sort of throws her through a loop.

“I don’t think it will, Lenny. I mean, I wouldn’t hire me after that. Who the hell knows what other lives I can ruin.”

“You didn’t ruin Shy’s life, you ruined yours a little and maybe Susie’s…” He grimaces, “...but it’s not the end of the world and the only way to get out of the bottom is to go up.”

She raises her glass sarcastically and clinks his before finishing her drink. Lenny gestures to the bartender again and two more drinks appear.

“I don’t want to go home. I can’t face them yet.”

He nods thoughtfully, “Can you stay with Susie?”

Midge shakes her head, “She doesn’t have enough room. I’ll just get a hotel for a few days. Maybe I can get my job back at B. Altman.”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself. “You can always crash at my pad if you want. I mean, it’s not the Ritz but it’s moderately clean. There’s a bed and I make decent coffee.” 

She looks at him for a second longer than he would like and he puts his arms up in defense, “Nothing funny, I promise.”

“Are you telling me you’re a man with a lease now?”

He shrugs, “Don’t get all excited, it’s just a six-month deal. I have few court appearances and a few gigs and, this is top secret, a thing at Carnegie Hall in February so I figured a little temporary permanence wouldn’t hurt.”

“Seriously? Carnegie Hall? Wow, Lenny.”

“We’re not talking about it.” He fixes her with a look and takes a drink.

“And where is this temporary permanence?”

“Hell’s Kitchen, you can hide out for a couple days, lick your wounds.”

Midge takes a drink and swirls the liquid around in her mouth, letting the alcohol and Lenny’s offer permeate. She’s a little drunk and probably shouldn’t be making these kinds of decisions right now. She’s also a mother and should really miss her children more than she does. But she’s supposed to be away anyway and right now, she can’t face the shame that awaits her when she has to tell everyone how bad her mess is. 

She swallows and smiles at him, “All right.”

His mouth lifts slightly, “All right. Finish your drink, I’ve got bourbon and weed and an old bottle of wine at home and you’re probably racking up a fortune with those cabs.”

“Good man.” They down their drinks and Lenny slaps some money on the bar top.

It’s not a long ride to Lenny’s apartment but it takes them each three trips to get all her luggage inside.

Lenny’s breathing heavy, his tie loose and his sleeves rolled up leaning against her trunk. He had insisted on carrying that one up on his own. “Please tell me, Miriam,” he says her given name the way her father does when she’s in trouble, “Why in God’s name did you need to pack this many clothes?”

Midge raises an eyebrow, “There are hats and shoes too. I can’t be expected to wear the same thing every night.” 

Lenny eyes the haphazard pile of boxes and suitcases that take up the main corner of the small room, “Please tell me you don’t need anything in there tonight.”

Midge gestures to herself, “I can’t sleep in this dress.”

“You can sleep in my pajamas. Come on,” he walks past her and into the kitchen.

She finds him pulling two coffee mugs out of a cabinet. “Bourbon, wine, or coffee?”

Midge plops down in a chair at the kitchen table and kicks her shoes off, “Bourbon. Better stay with what I know tonight.”

Lenny pours their drinks and sets them on the table. He slides an astray over to Midge as she lights a cigarette.

Surprisingly, his apartment isn’t terrible. The neighborhood isn’t great but his building doesn’t seem too menacing and his place is certainly fine. It’s sparsely furnished but it’s clean and it smells like Lenny.

Lenny lights a cigarette and takes a drag, pensive. “You take the bed, I can crash on the couch.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.” She taps her cigarette in the ashtray.

“You’re not. I’m offering.” 

The silence between them is soft and comforting. They smoke cigarettes, drink their drinks, and share a joint before Lenny starts rubbing his eyes and stretching. 

“I think it’s time to call it a night.” He stands and offers his hand to Midge who takes it and follows him back to his bedroom.

“The sheets are clean… ish.” He says as he rummages through a tall dresser. He turns and hands her a pair of threadbare striped pajama pants and a white undershirt. “Honey kept all my pajama shirts.”

“These are fine, Lenny.” Midge takes the clothing from him and places her hand on his arm, “Thank you. For everything.”

He shrugs and smiles at her, pats the hand resting on his arm, then backs out of the room closing the door after him.

Midge wakes up tangled in sheets that smell vaguely like aftershave. It’s not Joel’s or Benjamin’s but there’s something about the familiar smell that makes her nestle in deeper. She’s just falling back to sleep when there’s a light tap on the door before it creaks open.

“I didn’t want to wake you but I’ve gotta grab some clothes.” Lenny’s voice filters into the room but, Midge notices as her eyes crack open, he stays firmly on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, of course.” She gives herself a once over, smoothes her shirt down and pulls the cover up, “I’m decent, you can come in.”

Lenny walks in gingerly. He has on a pair of trousers she recognizes and a white undershirt that matches the one she’s wearing. His hair’s wet and tousled and a towel hangs loosely over his shoulder. Midge notices a stray drop of water running down his neck and she doesn’t realize that she’s following it until he clears his throat.

“Did you sleep all right?” He asks as he makes his way to the closet opposite the bed.

“Yes, I did. Thank you. I haven’t slept like that in a long time.” When he turns his back she stretches and pulls herself up, rolling her head from shoulder to shoulder.

“Go back to sleep if you want. I have to leave you and meet with some lawyers. There’s a pot of coffee but, I’m sorry to say, absolutely no food.”

“What time is it?” She asks around the yawn.

Lenny checks the watch on his wrist, “A little after eight.”

“I should get up.” She stretches again and maneuvers herself so that her feet are on the floor, “At least leave so you can get dressed.”

“I never mind an audience.” He says with a wink over his shoulder as he fishes a shirt out of the closet.

Midge rolls her eyes at him and finally gets out of bed.

There’s a mirror hanging off the door that catches her eye. She hadn’t intended to look but she can’t help it. She hasn’t truly seen herself like this in years.

She had washed her makeup off before bed but had neglected any of her other nighttime rituals. Her hair is a mess; the left side completely flat with a strand stuck to her face while the right has a cowlick so predominant it looks teased. There’s a smudge of eyeliner under her left eye that she couldn’t quite get last night and a stain of red leftover from her lipstick but otherwise, her face is clear. Her freckles are showing in the morning light and there’s a pimple starting on her chin.

Lenny’s pajama pants are too big for her and even though she rolled the waist, they still hang off of her hips and cover her feet. His t-shirt is worn and almost transparent and Midge lets herself think as she glances in the mirror, almost sexy.

She looks both completely undone and completely like herself. As she looks up in the mirror, let’s her eyes move past herself to her right where Lenny is pulling his shirt on, eyes glancing over at her, she realizes that no man has ever seen her this bare. Not Benjamin, not Joel, not even her father. But now Lenny Bruce has. Midge pushes the thought away and walks quietly out of the bedroom, fighting the urge to rush to the bathroom and fix herself up.

She’s sipping coffee and smoking a cigarette to calm her nerves when Lenny saunters into the kitchen. 

“Well, don't you look nice.” She gives him a smirk as he twirls for her.

“Tie straight?” He asks as he reaches for her cigarette resting in the ashtray and takes a drag.

She wants to say something smart, jive with him but then she remembers the state she’s in and a rare shyness creeps up, “Perfect.”

He takes another drag of her cigarette and smiles at her, “Can I pick you up anything while I’m out?”

“No, thank you. I’ll try and organize my things and see what I need. Can I use your phone? Just to call Susie and let her know where I am.”

“Of course. What’s mine is yours.” He checks his watch again, “Time to motor. I’ll see you later.”

“Play nice with the other kids, now.”

“Yes, mom.” He winks at her and pulls his suit jacket on as he heads out of the kitchen, shouting a goodbye before letting the door slam behind him.

Midge waits until she hears his footsteps fade on the stairs before she allows herself to look around. She has a strange urge to turn the apartment upside down, to try and find out the inner workings of Lenny Bruce. She tampers that thought down; she’s never been that type of person and if Lenny is hiding parts of himself from her (which she knows he is), it’s his business and she will respect that. It’s time she started paying attention to the secrets she needed to respect.

She finishes the pot of coffee and smokes two more cigarettes before pulling Lenny’s phone from the wall and dialing Susie’s number. She twists herself up in the chord with anxiety but it’s all for naught; Susie never answers. Midge finally hangs up with a huff, puts her hands on her hips and tries to come up with a plan.

She moves from the kitchen into the small living room. There’s the old sofa where Lenny slept and a blanket thrown over a pillow. She folds the blanket, takes the pillow back to his bedroom, and makes the bed. She considers taking the sheets down to the laundromat around the corner they had passed the night before but the smell of Lenny on the sheets is a comfort to her, something that she needs right now, so she settles for tucking the sheets in and fluffing the pillows. 

She moves around the apartment, straightening here and there. She washes the remnants of their coffee from that morning and a plate and fork left in the sink. The apartment is clean enough that there really isn’t much for her to do except get to work on the pile of luggage taking up most of Lenny’s front room.

She organizes each box and case and trunk and locates some toiletries and everyday clothes. For some reason, she isn’t drawn to her Dior and Chanel but opts instead for pants, sweaters, and shell tops; all the little outfits she used to wear when Joel was doing standup and she was his wife in the audience, cool and aloof and married to a comedian. She had packed pajamas but they’re gauzy slips of nightgowns and she rationalizes that Lenny’s already seen her in his old undershirt so why change it on him now. 

It’s close to eleven when she finishes her task and her stomach rumbles lightly. She tries Susie again but all she gets is a busy signal. Midge has a little bit of money that she had set aside for the trip and she does owe Lenny for his hospitality, so she cleans herself up and heads out to find a market. She goes for one of her simple outfits, easy on her makeup, and ties her hair up in a scarf. Midge Maisel would have never gone to the market so underdressed but she doesn’t feel like Midge Maisel anymore. She isn’t Miriam Weissman anymore either. All she knows is that she’s a woman who’s hiding out in Lenny Bruce’s apartment for a few days and there’s no reason to cake the makeup on for Hell’s Kitchen.

She walks a few blocks before she finds a butcher. On her way, she stops in a bakery and buys herself a croissant almost as good as one she had in Paris. She sits on the stoop of a building and eats it while a couple upstairs argues. The butcher is decent but his brisket’s undersized and fatty so she buys some lamb chops then finds a market and picks up some potatoes and green beans and a few staples. It’s a simple dinner but with being on tour and Zelda around, Midge hasn’t made her own dinner in almost a year. 

When Lenny comes home later in the afternoon, he’s disheveled and wearing a surly look but his lip turns up when he finds Midge mashing potatoes in his kitchen. It’s hot from the oven and she’s sweating a little. Her hair is stuck to her forehead and she’s biting her bottom lip while she mashes. She startles when she catches Lenny standing in the doorway.

“You’re home earlier than I thought.” She wipes her hands on the dishtowel tied around her waist and smiles, “How did it go?”

Lenny takes his suit jacket off and flings it over one of the kitchen chairs. He rolls his sleeves up as he sits across from where Midge is working. 

“Well, today was a special day.” He says as he pulls a cigarette from the pack Midge has sitting on the table and lights it.

“It was, huh?” Midge asks, making her way to the refrigerator in search of butter.

“I have a daughter.” He takes a drag of the cigarette and meets Midge’s eyes.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” Midge abandons the butter and pulls out the seat across from Lenny.

“She lives with my mother right now. And Honey, who is my daughter’s mother, lives in Los Angeles. We’ve been going back and forth over the kid for a while.”

“Oh.” Midge doesn’t know what to say. For all of her issues with Joel, they’ve always agreed on the kids. It’s a fair split and she knows she’s lucky for the way things worked out. She feels guilty for feeling so close to Lenny but not knowing this important part of his life. It’s one of those things he keeps close to his chest. She knew about Honey, had raised her glass with him in honor of both their divorces, but this is the first she’s ever heard about a daughter.

He stubs out the cigarette and smiles at her, “Well, after many phone calls, she can live with me,” He takes a drag off of the cigarette, “There’s one caveat, I have to move to California because Honey refuses to move back here.”

Midge smiles at him but it’s bittersweet, “When?”

“I’ve still got a court case coming up and the Carnegie Hall gig and I have to move my mother too so it’ll take some time.” He shrugs.

“How old is your daughter?”

“Turned five over the summer.”

“That’s a good age. Ethan’ll be five in December.”

Lenny smirks, “We can set up a playdate.”

“I’ll bring the snacks.”

“Speaking of snacks, what have you done to my kitchen?”

“Lamb chops.”

“I do love lamb chops.”

“Thank God. I wanted to thank you for letting me stay with you and I needed to keep myself busy so there’s also mashed potatoes...well, there will be.” She goes back to the forgotten butter and adds it to the potatoes.

“Can I help with anything?” Lenny asks.

“No, thank you.” 

Despite Midge’s refusal of help, Lenny ends up fixing the green beans. He takes it upon himself, pouring both of them a drink and then dragging the trashcan over to his chair, the pile of green beans in a bowl in front of him. Midge tries to be subtle as she lets her eyes wander to his hands. He snaps the ends off quickly, then snaps them in half. Zelda had taught Midge how to do that before her wedding. Joel watched her snap beans countless times but never offered to help, would have never thrown himself in while she was making dinner. He liked to stand in the doorway, taste test if she needed him to, but he had never done anything as simple as fixing green beans.

When Lenny’s finished, he rummages around for a pot under the sink, gives it a quick clean, then sets the water to boil. The kitchen’s small and he and Midge have to maneuver around each other. She lets her hand fall lightly to his hip as she leans around him to peek in the oven and he playfully hip-checks her as he adds salt to his water. 

He sets the table and pours them each a glass of wine and puts on a record while Midge finishes up. They’re quiet while they eat, listening to the music and enjoying each other’s company. When Midge starts to clear the table, Lenny takes the dishes from her with a soft tut, telling her to sit and handing her a dish towel to dry. It’s all very dreamy and domestic and something Midge never would have expected.

“It was wonderful,” Lenny says as he rejoins Midge at the table, “It’s been a long time since anybody made me dinner.”

“Thank you and thank you for the help.”

“My mother would expect nothing less. Did you talk to Susie today?”

Midge shakes her head as she sips her drink, “No, I tried twice but no luck.”

“Try the Gaslight?”

“Oh! Good idea.”

Lenny pulls the phone from the wall and hands it to Midge, maneuvering the cord around his chair. An unfamiliar voice answers and tells Midge that Susie’s in London and hangs up before she can explain anything. 

“She’s not there.” Midge offers as she hands Lenny back the phone.

“Well, keep trying.” He’s about to say something more when the record stops. As he lifts himself from his seat to change it, a small grunt escapes his lips.

“You okay?” Midge asks, concern on her face.

Lenny waves her off as he makes his way out of the room, “I’m fine.”

Midge follows him and he grunts again and he bends down to change the record. When he raises, his hand is resting on the small of his back.

“You don’t look fine.” 

“I’m not as young as I used to be.”

The couch in the living room catches her eye, “It’s from sleeping on that, isn’t it?”

“No.” 

“Lenny.” She says with her hands on her hips and fixing him with the most “mother knows best” stare she can muster. It always works on Ethan.

“Okay, fine. It’s the couch but I refuse to let you sleep there. I’ll be fine.”

“While I admire the chivalry, I think we can both fit in the bed.”

Lenny gasps at her and puts his hand over his heart, “So forward, Mrs. Maisel.”

Midge lets out a small chuckle, “It’s the 60’s; we’re groovy. I think we can handle it. As long as you don’t snore. You don’t snore, right?”

“I have heard no complaints.” Lenny makes his way over to her and holds out his hand, “Now you have to dance to this song with me.”

Midge sighs but a smile grows on her lips, “If you insist.”

“I do.” 

The rest of their evening goes forward with their usual banter and camaraderie until they both make their way to the bedroom. There’s an awkward back and forth about changing their clothes which ends when Lenny makes his way to the bathroom. She can hear him curse when some part of his body collides with the wall of the too-small room but neither doesn’t mention it and hurries in after him to wash her face. 

When she comes back out, she gets that self-conscious feeling from the morning when she thinks about just how threadbare her shirt is. She had debated keeping her bra on but the damn thing is so uncomfortable and it’s a little late now for her to be worrying about Lenny seeing her tits.

When she goes back into the bedroom, Lenny’s turned the bed down but he’s standing next to it, staring into space with his hand over his mouth. Midge clears her throat and startles him. 

He turns toward her and she quickly takes in his undershirt and boxer shorts but zips her eyes back to his to avoid lingering anywhere she shouldn’t. 

“Which side do you want?” He asks gesturing to the bed, his eyes planted firmly on her face.

“Inside?” She asks.

“Fine by me.” He lifts the covers and she slides in timidly, laying firmly on her back and as close to the wall as she can get.

“Comfortable?” Lenny asks before sliding in next to her and adopting a similar position.

“Very.” Midge swallows.

“Goodnight, Midge.”

“Night, Lenny.”

As Lenny reaches over to turn off the bedside lamp, Midge allows herself a gander. Lenny is handsome; that is not an opinion but a fact. He is also charming and endearing and there’s that wounded puppy thing about him that just makes you want to cuddle him. All of this Midge knows already. What she doesn’t know, what she learns from sharing a bed with Lenny is that he has strong arms; not like Joel who did push-ups to keep his arms that way but like someone who’s worked his whole life, who’s fought. There’s muscle there but it’s sinewy and lean. His legs are warm as they brush up against hers under the covers and she can feel the whisper of the coarse hair there. She stops her thoughts at his legs because she really doesn’t need to be thinking about any other parts of Lenny’s lower anatomy. But goddamn does he smell good. She’s enveloped in it and it’s killing her. She usually sleeps on her back to help with wrinkles but with Lenny next to her, she has to turn away on to her side and face the wall. She is not the modern adult she thought she was and just hopes he can’t feel the tension radiating in his direction. What the hell is wrong with her?

When Midge wakes up the next morning, there’s a strong arm around her and her face is buried in someone’s neck. She burrows herself in deeper allowing her leg to go higher over his hip before everything catches up with her and her eyes snap open.

Midge is frozen, hoping and praying that Lenny is still asleep. She raises her head from his neck, her cheek brushing against his stubble, and eyes him slowly. His eyes are closed and his breath is even. He gives a little grunt and pulls the leg she has wrapped around him higher. His grip on her calf is soft but firm and Midge can feel her heart racing. She tries to untangle herself but sleeping Lenny pulls her in closer. She finally relents, even lets herself enjoy the situation for just a second before taking a deep breath and clearing her throat to make sure her voice doesn’t betray anything.

“Lenny,” she says quietly and then repeats herself more firmly.

The only response she gets is a murmur and another tug on her leg, his hand raising slowly up her thigh.

She raises her voice and ignores the pitch in it, “Dammit, Lenny, wake up.”

She pushes against his chest, lightly at first and then with more conviction and finally, fucking finally, his eyes slowly blink open.

In his waking state, he runs his hand lightly up her thigh again and Midge actually shivers. She watches as he gets his bearings, looking around the room and then finally at Midge. His eyes go comically wide and then he freezes and it all comes to him. He pushes her legs off of him and swivels himself around so he’s sitting on the side of the bed.

“Shit,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders but then he turns his head towards her and smiles, “Mornin’ Miriam.”

“Good morning, Leonard.”

“Coffee?”

“Yep.”

He nods and pushes himself off the bed, “Yep.”

Midge watches him shuffle out of the room and head into the bathroom before she flings herself back on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

This is Lenny, her friend Lenny. Is she really that sex deprived that a night of innocent cuddling is sending her into this type of spiral? Maybe she is the sex-crazed degenerate her parents think she is. Or maybe her period’s coming. Either way, she’s got to get herself under control. She’s always been the one in control when it comes to men, always (except, of course, during the Penny Pann incident but that’s neither here nor there). So why is Lenny throwing her through such a fucking loop?

She waits for him to shuffle out of the bathroom and out of her line of vision before she gets up and follows his path. If her reflection is anything to go on, the morning cowlick is here to stay. She attempts to smooth it down, but maybe in light of everything happening it’s best if she appears as unattractive as possible. The fact that her nipples look like they’re ready to face the drill sergeant isn’t helping. She scuttles back into the bedroom and pulls on one of Lenny’s sweaters. She’s nothing if not resourceful. 

When she finally makes it to the kitchen, Lenny immediately notices the sweater.

“You cold?” he asks as he’s pulling a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator.

“A little, “But I’m fine, the sweater warmed me right up.”

Great, she’s graduated from blushing prude to total cornball. It’s like junior high all over again.

He smiles at that, puts the eggs on the counter and hands her a cup of coffee. 

“Thank you for the provisions, by the way. Now, how do you like your eggs?”

“Oh, umm…” She watches as he rummages around a drawer and finds a spatula with a triumphant “Aha!” and then turns back to her expectantly.

“However you make them is fine.”

“Midge, you are my guest.”

“Over easy.” He chuckles at how quick she responds, “Please.”

He bows slightly and turns back to the task.

They eat their breakfast in companionable silence and then sit out on the fire escape and finish the pot of coffee. Midge starts a second pot as Lenny showers and gets ready for another meeting with his lawyers. But, he tells her enthusiastically as she straightens his tie, he’s going to visit with his mother and daughter afterward to tell them the news. 

There’s a happiness so apparent in his voice that it lights through Midge. When he comes home that evening with some sunflowers from the market, she’s baked a whole chocolate cake. Neither mentions the normalcy of it all like they’re part of a goddamn nuclear family. Midge puts the flowers in the empty red wine bottle and they eat the chocolate cake on the floor of the living room while watching Alfred Hitchcock presents. They do their little awkward dance in the bathroom and fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed, only to end up a tangled mess of limbs the next morning. 

Their days are like this much of the week. Most of the time Lenny has a meeting or a lunch or a something that keeps him out of the apartment but there are days when he isn’t busy. On Tuesday they go out for lunch and see a matinee showing of Butterfield 8. Lenny can’t stand Elizabeth Taylor but Midge loves her so he relents. They have differing opinions on the movie too but both agree that “Liz has great tits.” There’s a park not too far so they walk over to it and feed geese on Thursday. It’s starting to get colder but Lenny talks Midge into getting ice cream. They wander around with their cones and Midge marvels at how wonderful this feeling of aimlessness is. For so long she’s always had to be somewhere but for a few days there’s no obligation and it is better than any vacation she’s ever had. Midge continues to make dinner but Lenny always helps in some small way and most mornings he’s out of bed before she is and she wakes up to the smell of coffee and food. They spend their evenings listening to records or watching television. Midge knows she has to go back and she knows Lenny has his own complications to attend to, but at least for a few more days, she wants to hang on to this utopia. 

Lenny finds a pack of cards in a kitchen drawer so on Friday night he brings home beers, take out, and the new Miles Davis record and they set up camp on the living room floor. They’re sitting across from each other, Midge is winning spectacularly and Lenny’s keeping score. He’s changed out of his suit and opted for an old sweatshirt and jeans and Midge can’t stop looking at him. His usually neat hair is a mess, the sleeves of his sweatshirt are rolled up revealing the old tattoo (she had sworn was a fake when she first saw his act… she even mentioned it to Joel), and there’s a cigarette dangling in his mouth as his adds up their scores on an old newspaper. 

“Well, my dear Miriam, it looks like you have beaten me triumphantly with a score of 556.” He says, the cigarette dancing around his words.

“What did you get?”

“It’s not important,” he says as he throws the paper over his shoulder and then rests his cigarette in the ashtray. 

She fixes him a look and scrambles to get it before he intercepts and next thing Midge knows, she and Lenny are a mess of wrestling and laughter on the floor. He grabs for the paper and Midge tackles him. She pulls the paper out of his hands with a cackle before she realizes the position she’s put herself in. In their kerfuffle, she has straddled Lenny, who’s holding himself up with one hand behind him and the other fixed firmly around her waist. Because her mind and body have decided that she needs some sort of physical intimacy, she thinks instantly about how compromising their position is and how that might not be a bad thing. Lenny seems to be working at the same pace because he clears his throat and shrugs (and Midge can feel the shrug as much as she can see it).

“485. Well done.” He says calmly but his eyes are darting all over her and she can feel a slight tremor in his body. 

Midge wants to say something clever but she can’t come up with anything. She feels the spark of something about to happen and then the record stops. 

“What time is it?” She asks as she clambers off of him. 

Lenny rights himself and checks his watch, “Almost three.”

“Think we should call it a night?” She yawns.

Lenny nods and pulls himself up, offering her his hand. They’re both silent and serious as they go about their nighttime procedure. Midge can’t take her eyes off of him. She’s so immersed in his life that she never stops thinking about him but now she won’t even let him leave her sight. 

They exchange stiff good nights as Lenny rolls over and turns the light off. Midge turns towards the wall like she has every night since they started sharing the bed but tonight she can’t stop sneaking glances at him. 

She’s a little drunk but not too much, just enough that instead of ignoring all these feelings wrapped up in her and going to bed, she gives in and turns back towards Lenny. His eyes are closed but his breathing isn’t quite even and slow enough for him to be sleeping.

“Lenny,” Midge whispers.

“Hmmm?” is the reply she receives.

“Are you asleep?” She can’t stop whispering like a conspiratorial little girl at a slumber party.

Lenny’s right eye lifts slowly as his head turns toward her, “I’m trying to be.”

“Oh,” Midge bites her bottom lip, “All right. Never mind.”

She starts to turn away from him when he reaches over and lightly grabs her shoulder, both eyes open and staring at her intently.

“What’s on your mind?” He whispers.

She turns back towards him as he repositions himself and they’re both on their sides breathing quietly.

“Miami.” She says slowly.

“Ah, Miami.” He repeats and there’s a trace of a smile on his lips but there’s sadness in his eyes.

“What would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten that cab?” She asks without any coyness, just curiosity. Her heart starts pounding with anticipation. 

“I think you can figure that out on your own,” Lenny says seriously.

Oh, she knows. She thought about it that night and has thought about it in great detail almost every night since. In fact, those thoughts have gotten more detailed and intense since she stepped foot in this apartment. 

Her face feels hot and she hopes he can’t tell, “And then what?” 

Lenny smiles, “I would’ve bought you breakfast.” 

“And that would’ve been it?” 

“No, Midge.” Lenny sighs and turns over on his back, runs his hand over his face, then turns back to her. “Maybe - shit - I don’t know.”

“Lenny...” Midge reaches out for him, runs her fingers over his forehead.

“I’m not the man you bring to the Upper West Side. I’m the guy you slum with a little while before you meet the man you bring to the Upper West Side.”

“I know but that’s not true, not anymore. Things are changing.” Midge says solemnly, “You’re different than any man I’ve ever known. You see more than tits and jello molds. I like you.”

“Oh, believe me, I have thought about tits and jello molds but...I...shit, yeah. I like you too.” Lenny says and then laughs quietly, mirthlessly. 

“You know everybody thinks we’ve fucked anyway,” Midge says.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Even Benjamin.”

Lenny really laughs at that, “The asshole in me is proud. I was kind of hoping he would think that.”

A smile crosses Midge’s face, “I know you were.” Lenny lets his eyes run over her. He doesn’t dare touch her but he can’t keep his eyes off of her.

“Did your father tell you he went to jail for me?” He has no idea why he’s bringing this up now but he might as well.

Her mouth hangs open a second before she finds the words, “What? No, you’re kidding me. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t he tell me?” 

“He came to my gig at the Den. Stood up for me when the cops came, they arrested both of us. Your mother bailed us out. They bought me breakfast.”

Midge snorts, “And you didn’t even have to fuck ‘em.”

Lenny rubs a hand over his face again, “Hey, you’re the one that left.”

“I know. I wish… well, no. I wanted to stay.” 

“But what would people think?” 

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. But it’s true.” Lenny turns onto his back and sighs, “I’m a lousy lay anyway. You’re not missing much.”

Midge watches as his undershirt rides up before she turns around and faces the wall, “I somehow doubt that,” She mumbles.

Lenny laughs, a loud “HA!” ending their conversation.

Even though Midge is fuming when she goes to sleep, she still wakes up tangled around Lenny. He clears his throat when she tries to wriggle out of his grasp and then they spend the rest of the morning tiptoeing around each other and being ridiculously polite. Midge breathes a sigh of relief when he makes his way out to have lunch with the Carnegie Hall people. 

“What are you doing tonight?” Lenny asks abruptly as he shrugs his overcoat onto his shoulders. 

“Well, I have so many options.” Midge sighs wistfully.

Lenny chuckles and points at her, “I’m taking you out.”

“Lenny, you don’t have to.”

“No, I want to. You’ve been cooped up here all week and there’s a new guy at The Bitter End tonight, I think we should check out the competition. And I’ll buy you dinner for being a dickhead last night.”

“Who’s this new guy?”

“George Carlin, he’s from California.”

“Ok, fine. I’m sorry about last night too.”

Lenny smiles and winks at her before heading out the door.

Midge sighs as she sits down on the sofa. She’s in deep with Lenny, she knows it. There’s something there that goes beyond attraction. She’s been feeling it for a long time which is exactly why she left in Miami. She’s got enough complicated shit with Joel and Benjamin. Lenny isn’t like the other men she’s been with, he isn’t easily swayed, and while he is always a gentleman, she knows deep down that he’s dangerous. But there’s a pull that she can’t move away from and spending this week with him has made it even more apparent.

So now they’re going out and they’ve gone out many times before but this time feels like a date. There’s a nervousness in her stomach, butterflies, that she hasn’t felt in almost a decade. Midge knows deep down that things with Lenny wouldn’t have a future. But he’s kind to her in a way that Joel could never fathom and he sees her more than Benjamin would have ever been able. He knows the ugliness in her, he knows her sarcasm and her fuckups and he still offers her a hand up and a place to stay and a piece of himself.

It takes her most of the afternoon to figure out an outfit and she even busts out the curlers and does her hair. That takes all of three hours so she decides to try Susie again. Midge is just about to hang up when a harsh, “yeah” comes through the receiver.

“Susie!” Midge exclaims.

“Midge?”

“Susie, I’ve been trying to get you all week. What’s going on?”

“We’ll get to that...where have you been? I kept trying your in-laws, or not in-laws, or whatever the fuck they are.”

“Susie, you didn’t tell them?”

“No, I pretended to be someone from B. Altman, oh then a salesman, and then a divorce lawyer. Where the hell are you?”

“At Lenny’s.”

“Lenny’s….Lenny Bruce’s. He’s in Florida. You’re back in fucking Florida?”

“No, no Susie, he’s back in New York. Hell’s Kitchen, actually.”

“And is this a permanent thing?”

“No, just a couple days. Until I can figure things out. Which is why I’m calling you.”

“Well, I had an interesting call earlier in the week, which is why I’ve been trying to get a hold of you...Apparently, there’s some big thing happening at Carnegie Hall in February and they won’t tell me who’s playing yet but they want you to open.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Why do you sound pissed? This is good news.”

“It’s Lenny, Lenny’s the one who’s doing Carnegie Hall in February. That asshole.”

“Why is this bad?”

“Because he’s trying to fix my mess. Goddammit, I wanted to fix it myself.”

“Well, Miriam, from where I’m standing you’re doing a hell of a lot to not fix it. In fact, I have spent all week trying to come up with a plan, while you’ve been hiding out in Hell’s Kitchen, and this is the best solution I have.”

“You’re right. I know. I just don’t want him saving me every time.”

“But you need this. We need this.”

“I know, I know.”

“Listen, I’ve got to go but I’ll let you know when I get the contract worked out. Go easy on him, okay?”

“I will. Thank you, Susie.”

When Lenny gets home an hour later, Midge is sitting on his fire escape smoking a cigarette next to an overflowing ashtray.

“What’s wrong?” Lenny asks as he climbs through the window.

She keeps her eyes trained on the street below, “I talked to Susie today, finally.”

“And?”

“And apparently, I have been offered a spot at some top-secret Carnegie Hall show.”

“Ah,” Lenny says as he reaches for Midge’s pack of cigarettes. He pulls one out, lights it, and takes a long drag before sitting down next to her. “Hand to God, I didn’t think they’d listen to me.”

“What?”

“They asked me who I wanted. That’s why we’re seeing George Carlin tonight because they’re pushing for him. I told him I liked Mrs. Maisel, thought she was fresh and had heard she had some openings in February.” He takes another long drag off his cigarette and ashes it, “I didn’t say anything to you because they sort of blew me off. But today, at our lunch, one of the guys said they had found a recording of you and they thought you were brilliant. They talked to Susie on Tuesday but she couldn’t get a hold of you.”

She sighs and turns to look up at him, “I just…. I want to do this on my own. I feel like you keep bailing me out and I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t want that to be the basis of our friendship or our careers.” 

“I know, but, listen, Midge… they picked you because they liked you. They only sought you out because I mentioned your name. If you hadn’t been you, spectacular, marvelous you, they would’ve said no thanks and gone with somebody else. They played me the record, I think it might’ve been that first time you got picked up but even raw like that, Midge, it’s so fucking good. They heard that and they wanted you because of that.” 

“This is why people think we’re fucking, you know.” There’s still a hint of anger in her voice but she softens at his praise.

“And I keep telling them I’m a eunuch.”

“Ha ha ha. You should be a comedian.”

“No money in it.” He flicks his cigarette into the air and watches it fall past the grate to the street. “You going to stay mad at me?”

“There was talk of dinner.”

“Yes, there was.” He stands up and brushes himself off, offering her a hand.

“I guess I can forgive you for dinner.” She takes his hand and stands up but pulls his chin so he has to look at her, “But, seriously, Lenny, I need to learn to fix my own mistakes sometimes.”

“I know but a little push never hurts and you know what a nice guy I am.”

She shoves him back into the apartment while his laughter echoes off the buildings outside. 

He takes her to what looks to be a hole in the wall but when they sit down and Midge takes in the ambiance, it reminds her of a little restaurant in Paris. The lighting is soft and dark and everyone is having whispered, mysterious conversations. It’s both hip and nostalgic and she can immediately see why Lenny likes it. 

“Come here often?” She asks.

Lenny smiles, “Once in a while. I like the tomato soup.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

He’s right, the tomato soup is fantastic but so is the company. Midge had had a few misgivings that things would be stifled because of the night before and the Carnegie Hall thing but their conversation flows as freely as ever. Their usual japing is present but they also talk about serious things and life and he shares more with her than he ever has in the past. It’s reminiscent of their night in Miami but so much more. She’s seen where he lives, she must be part of the club now.

“Not that I don’t love having you, because I truly do, but my waistline would like to know if you’ve thought about what you’re going to do.” Lenny puts his hand up to his mouth like he’s protecting himself but Midge knows there’s no malice in his words.

“I should probably face them soon.” Midge pops an olive in her mouth. 

“You are welcome anytime.” He points at her and then rests his hand on the table, “I mean that.”

“Thank you.” She pats his hand and he lightly grabs her fingers. They stay like that, silent and barely touching until the waitress brings the check. 

The Bitter End is the newest club in town and it’s also a hell of a lot classier than the Gaslight. Lenny sneaks them in through the backdoor with a few handshakes and some shoulder pats. They get a table in the back, close to the bar and with low light and Midge suspects it’s because of Lenny’s not so low profile. 

George Carlin is hilarious and both she and Lenny keep checking to make sure the other is laughing. Midge is on a high and everything is going fantastic until George finishes his set and the lights go up. She gasps when she sees them; Joel and Mei and Imogene and Archie all sitting around a table right by the stage. 

“What?” Lenny asks as he lights a cigarette.

“Joel.” She whispers, “Joel and his girlfriend and our friends.”

“Oh shit, where?”

“Two o’clock by the pillar.”

Lenny scans the crowd lightly, “Where Mei is? Which one is he?”

“Turtleneck.” Midge turns to look at him, “Wait, how do you know Mei?”

“I’m very popular in Chinatown.” He stubs his cigarette in the ashtray and pulls out his wallet, “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.”

Lenny throws some bills on the table and makes quick work of helping Midge with her coat. They nix the back route and head straight for the front door. They’re halfway down the street and Midge is about the laugh from the ridiculousness of it all when she hears her name being called.

Lenny puts his arm around her shoulder and urges her to keep going but Joel’s voice has always stopped her in her tracks and this time isn’t any different. She turns and Lenny follows suit. Joel is jogging towards them with Mei, Archie, and Imogene trotting behind.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He shouts and there’s confusion laced with anger in his voice. 

Midge’s entire brain races with thoughts and excuses and what the fuck is she going to do? Her mind is blank but she can still feel Lenny’s hand on her back, sees everyone catch up, takes in Imogene’s smile and awkward wave and Mei’s small but confident nod towards her and Lenny. Archie looks as dumbfounded as she feels but Joel, Joel looks like a firecracker about to burst. 

And, Jesus, here she goes being the world’s biggest fuck up again. She really should feel guilty but she couldn’t give a fuck. 

“I’m out,” she waves her hand awkwardly towards Lenny, “with a friend.”

“You’re supposed to be in Europe?!” Joel pants, “Not in some dive bar with Lenny Bruce! Jesus, Midge!”

“Look, Joel plans changed and Europe got canceled and I’m trying to figure things out.” That’s the best she can do right now with all of them staring at her. 

“But why are you here? On a date? With Lenny Bruce?!” His shouts are echoing now. 

Midge stares at him for a second, actually flabbergasted at his reaction. Then she remembers they’ve just started an argument and they have an audience. “Oh ok, that’s what this is. It doesn’t matter that I’m not in Europe. Oh no, it matters because I’m out with a man,” She takes a deep breath. God help her, she found her voice. “It’s fine that you’re out and about with Mei but I’m not allowed to go out with anyone? Huh, Joel?”

“He’s a criminal, Midge!” Joel glares at Lenny and Midge can practically feel the jealousy radiating off of Joel. Mei, to her credit, walks up to Joel in an attempt to calm him but he just shrugs her off and looks at Midge, expecting something, anything. 

“So what,” Midge laughs, “He’s also a hell of a lot funnier than you are, Joel.”

Behind Midge, Lenny can’t help but snicker at that and that is all the incentive Joel needs. They don’t know that Joel saw them together that night at the Gaslight. He saw the way Lenny Bruce looked at his wife. And he can see the way he’s looking at her now. Benjamin hadn’t been a threat. He was boring and mild and would’ve had Midge back making casseroles but Lenny Bruce is none of those things. Lenny Bruce is an asshole and Midge isn’t going to be debauched by some asshole, no matter how fucking funny he is. 

Joel storms towards them like a whirlwind and Lenny hears the crack of his jaw before he even registers Joel’s fist. He’s quick to recover though, attempting to push Joel away instead of escalating anything but when Joel doesn’t let up Lenny has no choice but to get a couple of licks in. When Archie breaks in and pulls them apart, he’s a little proud to see Joel sporting a bloody nose and lip and the beginnings of a black eye.

Lenny’s panting as Archie strong arms Joel away. Imogene moves from her spectator spot to where Midge and Lenny are standing. She wraps her arms around Midge tightly.

“Can we go home now?” Midge asks Lenny quietly.

“Of course,” Lenny says, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket.

Midge looks over at Joel, “I’ll call you.”

“You better,” he spits, “You know I supported this whole comedy thing but if it means you being a slut and a shitty mother, maybe it isn’t for you.”

Joel’s the one who’s taken by surprise as Midge storms up to him and slaps him across the face. “I am not a shitty mother. And maybe I am a slut but that’s none of your goddamn business anymore. I want more for myself and you’re jealous, so fucking jealous because I’m succeeding where you couldn’t! And the only thing I had to give up was being your sidekick!” She’s panting and tears are threatening the corners of her eyes but she stands proud with her hands on her hips and stares down Joel.

Archie is standing slack behind Joel with Mei. Imogene and Lenny are standing off to the side, watching Midge in awe. “Did you see that?” Imogene whispers.

“I did, indeed.” Lenny moves his cigarette to his mouth and holds out a hand to Imogene, “I’m Lenny, by the way.”

“Imogene,” She shakes his hand briskly and gives him a once over.

“I get it,” she says simply.

“Get what?” He asks, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing the smoke above their heads.

“Midge. You. I saw you two come in before Joel even noticed. I watched you in the back of the bar. I get it.” She says again with a shrug and a smile. “I should get Archie home. Nice meeting you.”

Imogene hurries over to Midge, giving her another strong hug before pulling Archie away. Mei waves solemnly at Lenny as she and Joel head in the opposite direction.

“I’m sorry,” Midge says as she brings her hand up to run lightly over the bruise forming on Lenny’s jaw.

He shrugs, “There is nothing to be sorry about.”

He hails a cab but his hand never leaves her back. She leans into him a little in the backseat and grabs his hand as they walk the stairs to his apartment.

Before Lenny can take his coat off, Midge has produced a bag of ice and is pressing it to his jaw. He tries to shake her off but she’s relentless as she strong-arms him down on the sofa and checks for any other injury.

“Midge, I’m all right. He didn’t do that much damage.” He stretches his long legs in front of him and rests his head on the back of the sofa.

“I love… loved him so much but he makes me so fucking angry.” Her words are quiet but there’s a whispering rage.

Lenny straightens himself up and meets her eyes, “I know. I understand.”

“Am I a shitty mother?”

“I want to say no and I’m sure no is the answer but I’ve never seen you actually around your children,” he chuckles and winces as his jaw clicks, “Hell, for all I know you could beat them upside the head every three minutes.”

“Two minutes. I’m building up to one.” A slow smile spreads across her face and her eyes lighten.

“Prepares ‘em for life.” He winks at her and takes the ice from his face, “But, no, Midge. You’re not a shitty mother.”

“Thank you.” She moves her hand to his chin and examines the bruise, “And thank you for beating the shit out of my husband and putting him in his place.”

“Chivalry is not dead, you know. But I think you’re the one who put him in his place.” He pats her knee affectionately then pulls himself up from the sofa, “Come on, I’m beat.”

“I’ll be right behind you. I’m going to call my parents. I think my lost weekend has come to an end.”

Lenny nods, “But what a weekend it was.”

Midge hopes they’re there. They were supposed to move in this week but given the state of her luck lately, they’re probably still in Queens. She dials the number with a heavy heart. It’s her old number, her first number. She was so excited when the telephone man came and installed the telephone in their kitchen. He even let her pick what she wanted. She dials Endicott 2 and then the 1864 (her and Joel’s birthdays) and she holds her breath.

She counts almost 15 rings before her father answers.

“Do you know what time it is?!?” He shouts through the receiver.

“Yes, Papa,” She sounds bored but his voice and tone are a welcome comfort, “It’s after midnight.”

“Miriam? And where are you? Are you just waking up?”

“No, Papa, I um….” She leans on the doorway and watches as Lenny walks shirtless into the bathroom. She turns back into the kitchen, gets tangled up in the chord and clears her throat. “I’m coming home.”

“What?! Why? What happened?”

“Well, a lot. I screwed up, Papa. That’s the short answer and I don’t need your judgment right now, okay? Please. I just need you to understand that I am moving forward and will fix my mess.”

There’s silence on the other end and she thinks for a moment that he’s hung up but then she hears his long sigh. “How many more mistakes are you going to make, Miriam?”

“Many, many more. Please, Papa.”

“Okay. When are you coming home?”

“Is tomorrow too soon?”

“Well we’ve barely moved the furniture in but we can always sit on your hat boxes so no, tomorrow is not too soon.”

“Thank you, Papa.”

“What should I tell your mother.”

“The truth, I guess.”

“Yes,” He sighs, “You’re probably right. What time can we expect you?”

“Afternoon sometime.”

“ We’ll see you then.” 

“I love you, Papa.”

“I love you too, Miriam.”

Midge hangs the phone up and rests against the wall. She doesn’t know what to feel anymore except a thriving urge to make things right. She’s had her week of wallowing. It’s time for her to go, for lack of a better term, tits up.

She makes her way to the bedroom and finds Lenny already in bed, doing the crossword puzzle from the morning paper. She’s a little disappointed to see that he put a shirt on.

“I talked to my father. I’m going home tomorrow.”

“Okay. I mean it, you know, you can always lay low here if you need to.”

“Thank you. Would you… would you come with me? Tomorrow? Moral support.”

“Of course.”

Midge holds it together while she changes and washes her face but when she sees him in the bed again, still doing the crossword she starts to break. Lenny gets out of bed and lifts the blankets so that she can take her spot and she really thinks she is doing a good job of hiding it but as soon as he leans over and turns the light off, Midge’s flood gates open and she starts crying.

It’s teary eyes and a sniffle at first but it only takes a couple of minutes for her shoulders to start shaking and the sobbing to begin. Lenny turns the light back on and tugs her shoulder until she faces him. He runs his thumb over her cheek in an attempt to wipe away a few tears and then pulls her into his chest. He lets her sob it all out. Her fists are balled into his t-shirt and Midge just can’t stop. Lenny says nothing except for the occasional “shhh, it’s okay” but he holds her and rubs his hand over her back and after a while, Midge settles down. When she’s almost calm and just softly hiccuping she smoothes her hand over his t-shirt, wincing at the snot and spit. 

“Husband or parents?” He asks, still lazily rubbing her back.

“Shy?”

“Really? You kept that one bottled up, huh?”

“I’ve been ignoring it.”

“He’s okay. Believe me. It’ll gloss over for him.”

Midge lifts herself with a hand planted firmly on his chest. She wants to thank him for his friendship and his understanding but she throws that all out of the window when she sees the way he’s looking at her and kisses him instead. He kisses her back, long lazy kisses that have her crawling into his lap until he seems to remember himself and pulls back. They’re both panting, Midge has one leg swung over his hip and he’s holding her shoulders back at arm’s length, eyes dancing over her face.

“Not that I really care either way but is this a ‘fuck me because I’m sad’ thing or is this a ‘fuck me because I want you’ thing?”

The corner of her mouth quirks just a bit, “Both, but definitely leaning in favor of the ‘fuck me because I want you’ side.”

He nods, “Oh ok, just checking.” He pulls her further into his lap and kisses her again, harder this time and with more of a purpose.

Midge pulls back and kisses down his jaw, over his bruise, “Yep, definitely the I want you side.”

“Oh good to know.” He pulls her back up to his mouth and kisses her again. She really wouldn’t mind if they never stopped kissing. The kissing is fucking fantastic and she hasn’t played backseat bingo with anyone is a really long time but then Lenny bucks up into her and she remembers they’re not teenagers in the back of somebody’s car; they’re adults in a bed and, holy shit, that’s enough of just kissing. Midge grabs desperately at his t-shirt, trying to keep her mouth attached to his while also getting the shirt off of him as fast as possible. Lenny gets his arm tangled in the sleeve and they both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all but then Midge grinds herself against him and they’re serious again.

All things considered, they take things slowly. Midge has every intention of giving Lenny a blowjob but then he eases her onto her back and slowly kisses and nips and sucks his way down her body. Out of curiosity more than anything, Midge had asked Joel to go down on her once. He had hemmed and hawed about it but had done it. She never asked him again. Benjamin was a very by the book sort of man so she never brought it up with him either. Her first thought, as Lenny kisses down her stomach, is to stop him. Tell him it’s all right, not her thing, she’s good. But the way his eyes lift to hers under his dark lashes, the way he sucks a hickey into her hip, the way he slowly takes off her pajama pants has her curiosity peaked again.

She actually might die. Lenny sucking on her clit might actually fucking kill her. She’s grasping the sheet for dear life and can barely catch her breath and if this is how she goes then it is fucking phenomenal. Although, she hopes he lies to the police because her mother will probably die too when she finds out her daughter’s death was caused by Lenny Bruce’s tongue, and oh fuck his fingers, but she really needs to stop thinking about her mother right now and focus in on….

“Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, oh fucking fuck.” She’s panting and babbling and holy fucking shit.

Midge doesn’t die, she just explodes and if the banging she hears on the other side of the wall is any indication, she is very loud about it.

Lenny’s laughing when he emerges from her thighs, his face glistening and a proud look in his eyes. She must be as depraved as everyone seems to think she is because she can’t help but grab his face and kiss him. It’s perverse and strange but this is already the best sex she’s had in a long time and she hasn’t even seen his dick yet. That is rectified very quickly because Midge shoves Lenny back on the pillows and practically rips his boxer shorts trying to get them off. He’s laughing during the entire escapade while trying in earnest to not take his hands off of her. She succeeds in her mission to finally, finally have him naked underneath her and he is beautiful and she really can’t decide whether she wants to blow him or fuck him. Her mouth, always a step ahead of her brain, voices this thought out loud.

“Fuck. Please, fuck.” Lenny says, grabbing for her.

Midge stays just out of his reach, “You have something against blow jobs?”

“No, in fact, I am very for blow jobs, in any capacity, really. But right now, if I don’t fuck you I think I might die.”

Midge giggles, “So dramatic.”

“I’ve been thinking about it all week.”

“Have you?” She says as she climbs into his lap.

“Why do you think I take such long showers?”

Midge giggles again and lowers herself onto Lenny and answers his request. She never realized she was this loud during sex but the neighbor on the other side of the wall is starting to sound like a fucking jackhammer (or maybe that’s just the headboard). Midge gives no shits either way because Lenny is bucking up into her and she is practically wreathing on top of him and there are his fingers again, hand gripping her hip while his thumb inches down to her clit. There’s something about the way Lenny’s breath feels panting against her hair and the way his arm is wrapped around her waist. He’s being gentle with her but he’s also intent on making her come again, dutifully answering her belts of “harder” and “faster.” Her orgasm hits her like lightning and she has no time to recover before she’s on her back again with Lenny over top of her finding his own release. He collapses half on top of her and half on the bed. They’re both sweaty and panting but Midge wants him to stay close. She lazily wraps her arm around his back and relaxes into him until she falls off to sleep.

They shift during the night and when Midge wakes up the next morning, Lenny is curled into her back, his leg in between her own. They’re laying diagonally across the bed, pillows strewn on the floor but there’s a blanket over them so he must’ve covered them sometime after she fell asleep. She can feel him stirring behind her and she tries to hold onto this feeling for a little while longer.

“Morning,” he whispers into her ear.

“Good morning.” She whispers back with a hoarse voice. “Do we have to get up now?”

He pulls her closer, “We can do whatever you want.”

“Bet you can’t guess.” She arches against him.

“Oh, I have some idea.” He yawns and she can feel every bit of him stretch. “I seem to remember a lot of enthusiasm about blow jobs.”

Midge turns in his arms and starts kissing down his neck, “Oh yes, I am very enthusiastic about blow jobs.”

He stops her and lightly lifts her chin so that she’s looking at him, “Only if you want to. I completely content with just fucking.”

She gives him a dirty grin, “Oh, Lenny, I want to.” She licks her lips, “And there will also be fucking. I told my parents I’d be home this afternoon. We’ve got all morning to kill.”

Lenny kisses her hard, “I’ll follow your lead then.”

It’s a little after noon when they finally emerge from the bedroom. They banter about the time-saving merits of showering together and even though the hot water goes very quickly, Midge gets shampoo in her eye and Lenny cracks a tile with his elbow, they both end the venture more than satisfied.

Midge still feels silly about putting on her regular clothes so she steals a shirt from Lenny’s closet and knots it at her waist. She does put some effort into her hair and face because she knows they’ll look shocked enough. She calls Susie to let her know she’s heading back and then she and Lenny get sandwiches and soda from the deli two blocks over. They both eat slowly and silently, knocking each other’s shoulders every once in a while. They finish and head back to his apartment and there is nothing left to do, no other excuse to make, and Lenny calls the cabs.

With the help of the doorman and a reluctant Abe, they get everything into her apartment in two trips. Abe says nothing about Lenny’s presence. Rose has a shocked look on her face for all of a second before she shouts down the hall for Zelda to set another place for dinner. Ethan and Esther wake up from their nap a little before dinner and both are absolutely beside themselves to see Midge. She had been a little worried that they wouldn't care and a tear comes to her when Ethan runs down the hall towards her. Looks like she is a crier now. Ethan is also utterly fascinated by Lenny who is led down the hall into Ethan’s room and shown every one of his matchbox cars. When Midge peers in to call them for dinner, Lenny is sitting cross-legged on the floor setting up a race while Ethan explains the background of each car. 

Midge is shocked to find that Rose insists “Leonard” sit next to her as she regales him with stories from her art class, Abe interjects about his work at the Voice and Midge just watches. Lenny is shy and polite with her parents and even offers to help Zelda with the dishes. He jokes with Ethan and makes Esther laugh. He also keeps his hand on Midge’s thigh throughout the entire meal and drags it up slowly, inch by inch while he is playing nice with her family. By the time dessert comes, Midge wants everyone to just disappear so she can fuck Lenny on the dining room table. Instead of that happening, Abe fixes Lenny a drink while Midge puts the kids down and Rose smiles when she rejoins them like she finally has some insight into Midge’s life. They haven’t forgotten while she’s really here and that conversation is bound to come as soon as breakfast tomorrow but right now they’re being kind and for that Midge is extremely grateful. 

All three of them walk Lenny to the door and it’s awkward enough with everything they’ve been through but Lenny shakes Abe’s hand and offers a wave and a gracious thank you to Rose. He squeezes Midge’s arm lightly with a promise to call but goes no further than that. She wants to jump him right there outside the elevator so it’s for the best that their physical contact is kept to a minimum anyway. 

When Midge goes to bed that night, she leaves her nightgown in her suitcase and pulls on a stolen pair of pajama pants and a white undershirt and thinks, for the first time in a long time, that she might be able to move forward again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
